Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Where's your pin-up friend?
At the front entrance of The Advocate we have security guards 24 hours a day. I'm in and out of the building all the time so I constantly see them and have gotten to know some of them. I'm to the point where I know what Oliver, the gigantic, bald, mustached, black dude drinks (Crown on the rocks) and have drank it with him. More often than not I come in, say hello, and bullshit a little with whatever security guard is working at the time.
One of the female guards recently started acting strange when I would walk in. Sometimes she would say, "Hi," and kind of turn away with an embarrassed look and other times she would be talking to a fellow security guard and immediately get quiet and giggle when I walked in.
When my co-worker and buddy came up to the news room one day and told me she had asked him, "Where's your pin-up friend?" I knew it might be problematic (although, really, who hasn't used my name and "pin-up" in the same sentence? Don't fight it, it's useless).
It's only gotten worse. When I was walking to my car one night, a different security guard chased me to my car to warn me that this chick was "after me." "She said you're always smiling at her and saying, 'Hi.'" I guess I missed the memo about basic courtesy equaling flirting, but I guess I should just stick with my instinct and be a dickhead all the time.
The most recent development has been my admirer calling a news aide who works across from me and asking her what I'm doing, which is a bizarre mix of juvenile and creepy. She also has started making a habit of coming up to the newsroom to talk to the same news aide and occasionally poke her head up and look at me. The other day she told the news aide she watches me on the security cameras and alluded to something else she would like to do involving a camera.
But Heath, you say, why don't you go for it? What I failed to mention is that this woman is 26 and has four kids, ages 5,6,7 and 8. I'm just hoping she's not armed.
One of the female guards recently started acting strange when I would walk in. Sometimes she would say, "Hi," and kind of turn away with an embarrassed look and other times she would be talking to a fellow security guard and immediately get quiet and giggle when I walked in.
When my co-worker and buddy came up to the news room one day and told me she had asked him, "Where's your pin-up friend?" I knew it might be problematic (although, really, who hasn't used my name and "pin-up" in the same sentence? Don't fight it, it's useless).
It's only gotten worse. When I was walking to my car one night, a different security guard chased me to my car to warn me that this chick was "after me." "She said you're always smiling at her and saying, 'Hi.'" I guess I missed the memo about basic courtesy equaling flirting, but I guess I should just stick with my instinct and be a dickhead all the time.
The most recent development has been my admirer calling a news aide who works across from me and asking her what I'm doing, which is a bizarre mix of juvenile and creepy. She also has started making a habit of coming up to the newsroom to talk to the same news aide and occasionally poke her head up and look at me. The other day she told the news aide she watches me on the security cameras and alluded to something else she would like to do involving a camera.
But Heath, you say, why don't you go for it? What I failed to mention is that this woman is 26 and has four kids, ages 5,6,7 and 8. I'm just hoping she's not armed.
