Tuesday, November 18, 2003
I found God...at the WalMart Supercenter
I was back at WalMart today, although this time it was not for any kind of anthropological education - I'm simply poor and was in need of household items. So I went there to buy some basics for my pad with a budget of roughly $80 (I know, how the hell do you spend $80 at WalMart? But if you'd ever seen the grandeur of a Supercenter, you would understand). While perusing seemingly endless aisles with seemingly infinite crap I came across a deal no mortal could resist:
A canvas bookbag - with a free Bible inside! Not only did I get:
-outside pocket
-ornate cross zipper pull (yes, that's a cross on the zipper of the book bag)
-long lasting self-fixing zipper (you see, already the Big Man is looking out for this bag)
-inside panel pockets
-pen and pencil holder
-ribbon place marker
-and reinforced stitching
On top of all of that I got an authentic King James with BOTH the Old and New Testaments. And as soon as I picked it up and put it in my shopping cart, the Lord started sending me the deals of a lifetime.
Suddenly I had a doormat for $2.50, a large throw-rug for $19.88, wash cloths for $.60 each, a coffee maker for $7.77. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways, and when I pulled up to that cash register with a doormat, rug, wash cloths, coffee maker, t.v. stand, bathmat, bug spray, blanket, broom, and dustpan, I was blessed with a bill for $86.85 - and how much was my Bible/book bag was? $6.87. Through divine inspiration I had hit my mark with two cents to spare, then splurged a little for the Good Book.
Amen.
A canvas bookbag - with a free Bible inside! Not only did I get:
-outside pocket
-ornate cross zipper pull (yes, that's a cross on the zipper of the book bag)
-long lasting self-fixing zipper (you see, already the Big Man is looking out for this bag)
-inside panel pockets
-pen and pencil holder
-ribbon place marker
-and reinforced stitching
On top of all of that I got an authentic King James with BOTH the Old and New Testaments. And as soon as I picked it up and put it in my shopping cart, the Lord started sending me the deals of a lifetime.
Suddenly I had a doormat for $2.50, a large throw-rug for $19.88, wash cloths for $.60 each, a coffee maker for $7.77. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways, and when I pulled up to that cash register with a doormat, rug, wash cloths, coffee maker, t.v. stand, bathmat, bug spray, blanket, broom, and dustpan, I was blessed with a bill for $86.85 - and how much was my Bible/book bag was? $6.87. Through divine inspiration I had hit my mark with two cents to spare, then splurged a little for the Good Book.
Amen.
