The other Jewish Elvis in Cajun country

As I was walking into IHOP to feed my hangover with grease and syrup this morning (who am I kidding, it was afternoon, I haven't seen a morning in weeks) I saw an old, stooped man who looked to be about 4' 10", 80 years old and Eastern European Jewish - probably a long-lost great uncle. He was struggling mightily to fold his walker - sweating, no doubt, in his argyle sweater - so that he could fit it into the almost non-existent back seat of his brand new $60,000 convertible sports car.

Probably speeding home, handicapped placard flapping in the wind, to fuck a model, too.